Spiritual Self Care During and After Miscarriage

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Today is a post I think you will find both challenging and encouraging. It is written by Brittany,  a follower of Christ, wife to James and Momma to 2 in Heaven. She exists to bring God glory and prays her writing is an avenue for that. She and her husband help lead the youth at their church and Brittany serves in women’s ministry as well. You can find her writing at, https://brittleeallen.com/ and on Instagram @brittleeallen.

In all honesty, typically when women talk about self care I cringe a bit. It's not that taking care of ourselves is bad, but I have seen women raise "self-care" to a level of selfishness. Many times, the ideas found on Pinterest focus on physical care or the relieving of stress from the body. But personally, I believe the most important way we must take care of ourselves is by being deeply rooted in Christ.

Delight in the Word

If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction. (Psalm 119:92 ESV)

I remember my eyes meeting this verse within weeks after our first miscarriage as I studied Psalm 119. I'm not sure if my heart had resonated so much with a single verse. It's true, had I not spent years pouring over the scriptures and seeking Jesus among the pages, I'm not sure my heart would have survived the heartbreak of that loss, as well as our second miscarriage.

To delight is to savor or to relish in something. David savored God's Word and claims it as his delight ten times in this one Psalm. If we want to take care of ourselves spiritually, we must follow in his lead, making it a priority to spend time delighting in scripture. It is especially important for those of us who are walking through suffering to immerse ourselves in God's Word and to seek our Father in prayer.

We must abide in Christ.

Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. (John 15:4-5 ESV)

Ways to Abide

So, how can we seek to delight in and abide in Christ? There are many ways and no one way is a perfect fit for every season.

For example, I adore deeply studying the Bible. But after my first and second miscarriages I had to take a break. My mind simply couldn't focus enough to accomplish such a task. Maybe you can relate? That's okay. Grief is a weighty thing to bear and weighs heavily on the mind. When you're ready, I encourage you to get back into a deeper study. For now, here are some ideas for spiritual self-care:

1. Read biblical books on grief

Two books I found to be helpful are "I Will Carry You" by Angie Smith and "Hope When it Hurts" by Kristen Wetherell and Sarah Walton.

2. Remain plugged in to your church.

I know it's difficult to go to church with reminders on every side, but we need to be surrounded by believers. We must not forsake meeting with them, even in our pain. (Hebrews 10:25) Don't give in to the temptation to isolate yourself.

3. Read through the Psalms.

Psalms are a balm for those with a broken heart. If you aren't sure where to start when you open your Bible, start there.

4. Write out scripture.

This is one of my favorite ways to focus on God's Word. Put on some worship music and write out a passage of scripture that resonates with you and allow it to move your heart into prayer and worship.

5. Listen to the Word.

Sometimes, even reading at all is just too much. Praise God we live in a time where we can listen to the Bible through our phone or online! Let it play while you do dishes, laundry, work etc.

6. Pray or read outside.

I think one of the most healing things for me last year was simply reading or writing scripture while savoring God's creation. It almost always moves me to thankfulness. As women who are walking through loss, we need to remember that we still have so much to be thankful for.


Lastly, pray.

I know it can be hard to take our hearts to God while walking this journey. I encourage you to keep seeking him, not only through his Word but also in prayer. He wants you to talk to him and to bring him your cares and concerns as a daughter does to her Father. He is near.

Spiritual self-care is being deeply rooted in Christ. I pray these ideas will encourage and equip you to make it a priority in your life as you walk through this season.

Brittany Allen